“Your genitals do not define your gender identity. Live your life and love yourself. Do what gives you happiness.”
Such a simple phrase, but has immeasurable complexity and struggle woven behind it. My entire life, I was ridiculed for expressing myself and being me, which instilled so much fear within that I was unable to exist freely, the way I wanted to. I faced several hardships whilst growing up – from being sexually assaulted to losing my best friend over my queerness, I had experienced enough for my life to be in shambles.
Motivational speaker Balaji R
When I entered college, all I had was remnants of shattered self-esteem. I suppressed my identity and went to the extent that I even had a friend pretend to be my girlfriend. The ever-present fear in me pushed me to the edge and I tried killing myself. But a friend held me, stopped me and asked me to think why do I give importance to those who have no regards for my life or who I was? That was a life-changing moment, and since then, I have never looked back. I was unabashedly myself.
My life did change internally, but externally, it was still a battle. I was called names and people pelted stones at my window. When I stayed in a PG, my roommate moved and told everyone I was gay, and that it was a disease. But where there was negativity, I received a lot of support too. The editor at my earlier job took me to events where I met people like me! For the first time, I felt like being alone was not an option.
Balaji R is a motivational speaker
Coming out to my parents was one of the most difficult things I had to do in life. When my mother got to hear I was dating a guy, we had to take her to the hospital. But after all, mothers are your best friends, right? One day I found her search history full of researches upon homosexuality. In fact, a few months ago, when one of our neighbours approached us for my marriage proposal, she told them to find a guy for me instead – The happiest day of my life!
Our society has many stereotypes that it refuses to let go of. I want people to know it’s okay to choose your happiness over everyone else’s, to fall in love with who you are and not care about ‘what people will say’. Like German philosopher, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said – I am what I am, so take me as I am.
Live for yourself, not for anyone else and walk with pride.
